This is Me

MY TRAGEDY I’m a twisted thinker. I think beyond the limits of one’s thinking, I see beyond dimensions, I talk beyond others' understanding. I’m here to neither please someone nor win his approval. I am here as a person of his powerful thinking, driven by cognitive reasons, motivated by emotional dissatisfactions, pushed by intrinsic longings, held back by physical constraints, hindered by imperfections... Trying to go on, wishing to stand steadfast after every stumble, hoping to show courage in every challenge, striving to better in every failure…I’m clinging to the finest thread of hope as I grope for love in the darkness, wishing to beat time and fate. I am hoping to outshine the radiance of the day, wanting to beat the darkness of the night. Espousing the most ambitious desire to man the world, to control time, to control people.. Born to win yet continuously fail… still struggling, winning my star in the dark universe. Armored with unsurpassed willingness to love and be loved I ventured into a journey for character building. Trying to be a better person for someone…A false dream, for as soon as I open my eyes that someone is gone in the darkness, like a shadow that someone faded away…and gone forever… tried to hold him yet my fist clasped nothing…in opened my palms…a realization sunk in me. He is beyond my reach. I though I am ready to hold him, the elusive someone…I wasn’t… . I’m going to cry forever.Like a play the curtain covered the stage where my drama has been presented. The theater is silent again. The noise had passed…Life takes over, reality takes its place. So this is it. This is what is real. EMPTY THEATER…echoes of inaudible noises. MY PLAY IS A TRAGEDY. I COULD HAVE MADE IT COMEDY…I COULD HAVE MADE IT LIGHTER…LIKE A FAIRYTALE…but it has ended. THE CURTAIN HAS BEEN CLOSED I bade the shadow good bye...I know deep in my heart that shadow remains forever... LOVED and CAREDWHAT I WASI go beyond dimensions...I hate silence. I always find way to make noise, I want noise. I like noise.Perhaps, I can't do away from it. I guess, I shouldn't.In the silence of the night, when there is no one to talk to, to confide with but myself, I came into a realization. There is noise in silence. Deep inside me, I know the commotion never stopped, day and night. It neither haunts nor it threatens. It keeps me company... Isn't it nice? At least I'll never be alone-my greatest fear.